Drew Carey Show

1990s tv sitcom

Drew Carey Show tv sitcom quotes
Drew Carey Show tv sitcom quotes
Drew Carey Show tv sitcom quotes
Drew Carey Show tv sitcom quotes
Drew Carey Show tv sitcom quotes

Crew haircut, thick glasses and thick figure - that’s Drew Carey, an assistant director of personnel in a Cleveland department store. Frustrated with his job he can always count on his friends.





Drew Carey Show quotes


Drew Carey:
[holding Kate’s hand] Good news guys, Kate and I... we’re engaged.
Lewis Kiniski:
[looking at them] That’s big... I hope you kneeled for that.
Drew Carey:
Of course I got on my knee...
Lewis Kiniski:
I wasn’t talking to you...




Mimi Bobeck:
[sees Drew’s look-alike] So much crap they had to start a second pile.




Lewis Kiniski:
[about sex] One person’s always disappointed. So far, I’ve been lucky; it’s always been the woman.




Drew Carey:
They always spell my name wrong on my paycheck! Look at what it says, "Drew Fairy". Last week, it was "Screw Carey".
Lewis Kiniski:
[takes a look at amount on the check] Looks like every week it’s Screw Carey...




Drew Carey:
I have a question to ask. Am I healthy?
Oswald Lee Harvey:
Well, you sound healthy. I can hear you breathing from here.




Drew Carey:
I couldn’t sleep last night. The rocking trailer kept me up.
Steve Carey:
Oh, sorry.
Drew Carey:
And, then, the screaming started.
Steve Carey:
What was that?
Drew Carey:
That was me, when I realized what was going on in the trailer!




Lewis Kiniski:
Ok, Drew is really going to mope about this. So, we need beer, junk food, and pity sex.
Kate O’Brien:
I’ll get the food.
Lewis Kiniski:
I’ll get the beer.
Oswald Lee Harvey:
Every damn time!




Mr. Soulard:
What do you got there, Carey?
Drew Carey:
Uhh, nothing, sir.
Mr. Soulard:
Is that the new report?
Drew Carey:
Uhh, yeah that’s what it is.
Mr. Soulard:
Well, let me see.
Drew Carey:
No! Uhh... I mean, it’s not finished.
Mr. Soulard:
Let me see what’s in your hand, Carey.
Drew Carey:
Ok... uhh... It’s uhh... a present for Kate. Yeah, it’s erotic pictures of me. I’m in a thong.
Mr. Soulard:
I got a feeling you’re covering... But I can’t take that chance.




Steve Carey:
It’s a boy! We’re having a boy!
Mimi Bobeck:
Actually, I’m glad it’s not a girl. After all, what woman could live up to this beauty?
Drew Carey:
All women, most men and some horses...




Jenny:
[Mimi’s cousin] I can sleep with whoever I want to!
Drew Carey:
You were going to sleep with me?
Mimi Bobeck:
You’ll sleep with him over my dead body!
Drew Carey:
I’m having the best day ever!




Nigel Wick:
[when Drew refused to give his urine sample] I want your pee on my desk by the end of the afternoon!
Drew Carey:
Oh, I’ll pee on your desk...
Nigel Wick:
In a cup!
Drew Carey:
Oh, I’ll pee in a cup...
Nigel Wick:
Not my coffee cup!
Drew Carey:
Oh, I just like talking like this because it makes you nervous...




Drew Carey:
[to Mimi] Like the doctor said the day you were born, it’s gonna get ugly!




Lisa Robbins; [on Mimi] I couldn’t get her to take off her make-up...
Drew Carey:
I heard they tried once, and there was a whole other painting underneath it.




Drew Carey:
I’m not backing down until we get a crosswalk! Will you give it to us?
Nigel Wick:
Hmmm... no.
Drew Carey:
Will you think about it?
Nigel Wick:
Hmmm... no.
Drew Carey:
Will you change your mind?
Nigel Wick:
Maybe the "hmmm" is confusing you... No!




Lewis Kiniski:
[during the "oldest unpaid bill contest"] I have an unpaid bill... from my own birth. What are they going to do, put me back?




Kate O’Brien:
Oh, my God! How could you lie on the Bible?
Lewis Kiniski:
Well, it’s simple. I’m a single, 41-year-old janitor. What’s God gonna do? Take THAT away from me?




Nigel Wick:
[on Christmas decoration contest] It’s nice Mimi that you’ve brought a choir, but unfortunately I have very bad memories from being a choir boy, so Drew Carey wins!
the choir:
[Mimi conducts to christmas carol melody] We wish you haven’t said that, we wish you haven’t said that, we wish you haven’t said that, we now where you live...




Mimi Bobeck:
[plays with the Village People troll dolls] In the navy, in the navy...
Drew Carey:
[to YMCA melody] I think it’s time that they put you away, I think it’s time that they put you away...







Seasons of Drew Carey Show

1995 Season 1
1996 Season 2
1997 Season 3
1998 Season 4
1999 Season 5
2000 Season 6
2001 Season 7
2002 Season 8
2004 Season 9


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