Suburgatory

Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending the summer in Manhattan with her grandmother. Upon returning, she continues to be interested in her mother’s life and decides to perform at the local talent show. While Jill is out of town for a book tour, Noah tries to get Carmen, Dallas’ maid, to work for him. Lisa blackmails Sheila and Fred, after telling them she knows that Ryan is adopted.

Tessa believes she being haunted by a witch (Rachel Dratch). George and Noah dress up as each other for Halloween, after Dallas had openly hoped that George would portray "Ken" to her "Barbie".

Lisa helps Ryan pursue Tessa after she feels guilty for not telling him that he was adopted, but Ryan mistakes her generosity for pity that he’s seriously ill. Meanwhile, Dallas invites her life coach Tabitha (H. Jon Benjamin) on her first date with George. Tessa babysits Opus when Noah and Carmen go to the opera.

George is confused by Dallas’ behavior, when she overacts before they actually get romantic with each other. Tessa worries about Dalia when she becomes friends with her father’s fiance Wan’Er (Dyana Liu) and abandons Kimantha, Kenzie and Kaitlin.

Tessa’s mother, Alex (Malin Åkerman) unexpectedly shows up in Chatswin for Thanksgiving. Malik comes over to the Shay’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, and annoys Lisa when he actually gets along well with Sheila. Sheila accidentally walks in on a naked Malik getting out of the shower, embarrassing Lisa.

Now that Lisa and Malik have broken up, Lisa decides to spend an entire weekend with Tessa, even though Tessa had plans to spend the weekend alone in her room with her new tablet computer. George’s friends from Manhattan, Theo and Cyrus (Brandon Keener and Eugene Byrd), visit him unexpectedly and ridicule his new posh life in the suburbs.

George arranges for Tessa to spend Christmas with Alex in Manhattan. Ryan finally finds out that he is adopted and doesn’t want anything to do with the Shays anymore. Dalia makes a viral music video, to try to get Carmen to work for her again. Jill returns home from her book tour and feels uncomfortable about Carmen taking care of Opus, leaving Noah in the middle.

Tessa insults Dalia after finding out she received a better gift for getting a high score on her PSATs. To make amends, George makes Tessa go to Dalia’s hip hop dancing class, where a dance battle between the two girls ensue. Malik’s parents (Tim Meadows and Paula Newsome) invite the Shays for dinner, where Ryan who now goes by the name "Eugene Goldfarb" is staying. Noah and Jill ask for Mr. Wolfe’s help on getting Opus eligible for a prestigious day care.

Tessa gets her wisdom teeth removed and later gets hopped up from the wisdom teeth medication, making her act very strangely. Fred hides in the Altman’s basement, scared to tell Sheila that he was demoted to a junior secretary at his job.

With the rest of the school now aware that Tessa and Ryan are dating, Tessa feels alienated by the other football girlfriends who spend all their time serving their boyfriends. George, Noah and Fred start a Dads-only band, until Sheila intrudes.

Feeling that Yakult is not herself, Dallas hires Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama) to treat the dog, which puts a wedge between Dallas and George’s relationship. Sheila asks Tessa to set Lisa up for a blind date.

Tessa signs up to host a talk show about teen issues for the school, however the show is taken over by Ryan, who instead talks about his body. Tessa is taken aback when the student viewers are far more interested in Ryan’s topic. Dallas finds out that her house is actually located in East Chatswin, meaning all of her Chatswin privileges are revoked while Dalia has to attend another high school.

Tessa and Ryan spend Valentine’s Day evening watching an arthouse film, that has Ryan emotionally moved, but ends up confusing Tessa. Malik continues to try to win Lisa back. Sheila’s mother (Mary Kay Place), intrudes on Shelia and Fred’s Valentine’s Day plans. Dallas undergoes a major botox procedure, which ends up making her look disfigured, forcing George to eat an 18-course meal all by himself, prepared by Chef Julio (Michael Voltaggio).

Tessa becomes a relationship adviser while Ryan is at an away game. Tessa agrees to help Mr. Wolfe, who suspects that Chef Alan is being unfaithful with his ex-boyfriend Chef Norman (J. P. Manoux). George is left stuck in the middle when Dallas and Noah manage competing T-Ball teams.

Marty, a friend of George’s and Noah’s at the country club, passes away. George is left with the ashes upon discovering that Marty had very few close friends or family members. Tessa and Ryan think about their lives after high school, after Ryan says he spent his three days away visiting college recruiters.

After revealing his love for Carmen to George, Noah tries to make his feelings a reality despite his marriage to Jill. Tessa interns for "published author" Jill, thinking the experience will look good on her college applications. The actual experience, however, becomes a strange one. Dalia agrees to give Mr. Wolfe a makeover, after his breakup with Chef Alan.

Dallas feels neglected after seeing that George does not have much interest in a Deryck Whibley-autographed guitar that she bought him for his birthday. So to make up for George’s disinterest, Dallas indulges herself in Italian food with Jill. Tessa begins to think that living in the suburbs for so long has made her dull. Noah once again tries to seek Carmen’s attention.

George is asked by the mothers of Chatswin to help Noah, who has been living in the local hotel with Opus, following his divorce from Jill. George has Noah and Opus move in with him, which doesn’t turn out well. Tessa helps Fred be more hip in order to get a new job. Dallas forces Dalia to throw out some of her things, to overcome her hoarding addiction.

George becomes obsessed about his figure to make the December page of the annual "Fathers of Chatswin" calendar. Dalia becomes jealous when Noah’s college-age daughter spends time with Tessa. Tessa and Lisa discover some strange secrets about Dalia.

Tessa helps Ryan with his decision on which college to attend. George contemplates moving in with Dallas, but Dallas becomes disappointed when it appears George is doing so to save money, rather than for romantic reasons. Sheila tries to sell George’s house to Leslie (Johanna Braddy), a young single mother. Dalia, still fuming about Tessa sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, reveals one of Tessa’s secrets to Ryan.

Dallas and George try to figure out a way to tell Tessa that he’s sold their house and the two are moving in together. The rift between Tessa and Dalia becomes physical. Tessa tells George that she’ll never live under the same roof as Dalia. Despite her dating his therapist, Noah continues to obsess over Carmen.

George buys a house for Dallas, and is then visited by her ex-husband, Steven. Sheila convinces Mr. Wolfe to throw a Chastity Ball at school, believing strongly that Lisa will be crowned queen. An emotionally distraught Tessa seeks solace in the bathroom stall.