Suburgatory

Single dad George (Jeremy Sisto) decides to move himself and his 15-year old daughter Tessa (Jane Levy) out of New York and into the suburbs, where he hopes they will become closer, after finding a box of condoms in her drawer. However, Tessa is too horrified by all the big-haired, fake-boobed mothers, over-manicured lawns and shallow classmates to bond with her father.

Tessa finds herself attracted to her exact opposite, jock next-door neighbor Ryan Shay (Parker Young), much to the dismay of her new friend and Ryan’s sister, Lisa (Allie Grant). This crush starts when Tessa and George are invited by Ryan and Lisa’s mom, Sheila (Ana Gasteyer) to her house for dinner. Tessa and Lisa go down to the Rumpus Room where Ryan and his friends are. Dalia (Carly Chaikin) dares Ryan to kiss Tessa, and when they do, Tessa starts finding herself attracted to Ryan and vice versa. Meanwhile, George is pressured by Noah (Alan Tudyk) into throwing a barbecue.

When George joins the PTA, he becomes well-liked by all the moms, which has Sheila, the de facto PTA leader, feeling threatened. Meanwhile, Tessa joins the school newspaper and with some help from fellow outcast Malik (Maestro Harrell), turns it into a tabloid-style paper. But when Malik is overtaken by popularity Tessa has to go to desperate measures to get back her friend. Also at the end of this episode, Tessa reveals to her father she isn’t going to college.

When Sheila’s precious Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, Tessa can’t help but be amused and admits to the crime, despite being innocent, in a bid to move back to New York. Meanwhile, afraid of being burgled themselves, Dallas (Cheryl Hines) and Dalia stay at the Altman’s house, annoying Tessa.

Tessa believes she has found the perfect costume for Halloween when she channels her inner "suburban girl", but her fellow students get more of a fright when her costume reminds them of Misty (Chloe Bridges) their recently "departed" classmate. Lisa and Malik attempt to exorcise Tessa to remove the former friend’s spirit before Misty visits revealing that she didn’t die as Lisa thought, she just moved to a boarding school called ’A better place’. George tries to help Dallas find the fun in Halloween, but receives a shock of his own when Dallas’ husband Steven (Jay Mohr) returns home from his business trip.

Tessa attempts to get her fellow students motivated in helping a charity, however the charity they choose to help isn’t what Tessa was hoping for (help for people with oily skin). So Tessa decides to introduce her classmates to a transsexual homeless person as a lesson, but the plan backfires. Instead, her shallow classmates think that Tessa is trying to tell them that she is poor and so Tessa starts receiving charitable gifts from her classmates. Meanwhile, a huge dental bill from Noah puts a strain on his and George’s friendship.

Dallas gets Dalia to plan Tessa’s sixteenth birthday party, even getting her favorite band, ’Average shelf Life’, to perform. Tessa is excited until Dalia shoves her own vision over Tessa’s intended plans and shuns Tessa’s friends saying they’re ’not in my vision for this party’ leaving Tessa annoyed. Meanwhile, George throws out his back and Sheila becomes his obsessive caretaker, even though George is terrified of her.

Tessa can’t stand the thought of spending Thanksgiving in the ’burbs, so Dallas takes her for a day in the city. While out having fun, the two come across George making out with a woman, Zoe, even though he said he’d be working. Tessa openly confronts George about his lying at the Royces’ Thanksgiving dinner, ruining the event. Meanwhile, Sheila and Lisa are at odds over an Amish dress Sheila wants Lisa to wear for dinner making Lisa attempt to rebel.

Tessa decides to reunite George and his old flame Zoe (Gloria Votsis), because she blames herself for their breakup. But George is instead captivated by Aimee (Ellen Woglom), Tessa’s art teacher. George then throws a tree-trimming party hoping for Aimee to become his girlfriend but Tessa’s plans to reunite George and Zoe backfire when George admits he hated being with Zoe. George finds himself under the mistletoe with a special someone.

Tessa gets her driver’s license and Dalia hires her to drive her around to stalk her crush, Scott Strauss (Thomas McDonell), who ends up falling for Tessa. George decides to join the local country club, but Noah refuses to sponsor him.

Tessa is asked to guide Josh Sherman (Dan Byrd), the new guy in school. After seeing him stare at the school jocks, she then believes that he is gay, unaware that he is really an undercover narcotics officer investigating the use of steroids. Lisa has a crush on Josh and tries to prove to Tessa that Josh is in fact straight. When Tessa asks Mr. Wolfe (Rex Lee) what she should do, she inadvertently inspires Mr. Wolfe to "come out" to the student body. George begins to re-evaluate his relationship with Dallas, after thinking that she is making sexual advances towards him. Dallas opens a crystal paper weight store.

George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City and takes Noah and Fred (Chris Parnell) with him on a "guy’s weekend". Fred admits he has a gambling problem and is insistent that Sheila can tell what he’s feeling. George catches Dallas’ husband Steven chatting up a woman. Lisa believes that Tessa’s meeting with Scott will end up with them having sex and so she lends Tessa her love box, containing condoms and syrup. Tessa tries to be alone with Scott, but it doesn’t work out as planned. George gets a shocking surprise when he finds a box of condoms in Tessa’s room again.

After finding a box of condoms in Tessa’s room, George wants to keep Tessa in the house as much as possible so he plans a family game night with Tessa’s friends. Tessa begins to gloat to Dalia about how Scott chose to be with her, but the more time she spends with Scott the less attraction she has for him. Ryan is shown to be jealous of Tessa and Scott’s relationship. Dallas finally learns that Steven has been unfaithful to her. Jocelyn (Arden Myrin) seduces George and they finally have sex.

When Tessa sees that the school is only interested in athletics and not academics, she decides to run for class president against Kenzie and Kaitlin. George becomes obsessed with a flower bud in his garden. Ryan injures himself in a wrestling match and George gives him advice in his time of need. George admits he used to be involved in a band and attempts to write a song.

To get back at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss, Dalia invites Lisa to be part of her "in" group, which Lisa eagerly accepts. So Tessa tries to recruit Kimantha (Abbie Cobb) into her group. Malik feels neglected after Lisa’s betrayal to himself and Tessa. Meanwhile, frustrated with Noah’s laziness and lack of attention to her requests, his wife Jill (Gillian Vigman) begins hitting the town with the newly-single Dallas and her new latin lover Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama), leading her to seriously consider divorcing Noah.

Tessa becomes jealous when her new poetry teacher is more fascinated with Dalia’s poems than her own. Fred and Sheila compete against George and Dallas in croquet after Dallas parades a high number of men around the field distracting Sheila and Fred from their game. Fred becomes convinced that Sheila has been fantasizing about George after reading her diary.

Dallas invites her sorority sisters to celebrate the opening of her store, but her party is gatecrashed by an uninvited sorority member (Robin Givens). George meets up with Tessa’s maternal grandmother after reading the poem Tessa wrote. Meanwhile, Tessa tries to show George that she can be independent by working for Dallas and buying her own wheels.

Dallas’ divorce is finalized and George is worried about her, so he invites her to shop for a mattress with Noah. Malik and Lisa confess their feelings and begin to date. Lisa feels sorry for Tessa and tries to set her up with Evan the school nerd. Tessa and Ryan go out together, and are spotted by Lisa, who surprisingly takes it well. Dalia begins seeing a therapist Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton) and later makes a breakthrough with Noah, who buys her a new pet to keep her company.

George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town’s farmer’s market. George later finds out that Eden is going to be the surrogate mother of Noah and Jill’s child. Tessa helps Dalia find Dallas’ missing dog, which their counselor Mr. Wolfe had found and wants to keep as his own.

George signs a contract promising Noah that he will not have sexual relations with Eden until she gives birth to the Werners’ child. George becomes concerned about Tessa when she becomes more enthusiastic about working at Dallas’ store. Lisa starts to believe that she was adopted by Fred and Sheila.

Eden moves in with George and Tessa, shaking up the household. Sheila may be compromising Noah’s relationship with Eden. Malik and Lisa look into attending a summer camp.

The residents of Chatswin have an all-out celebration for the town’s moms, leaving a void for Tessa. Dalia wants to go to Israel for Mothers’ Day without Dallas. George and Eden attend a baby shower for Noah and Jill, but Eden is taken aback by the Werners’ endangered animal theme. Fred surprises Sheila with a performance by her favorite artist, while Lisa discovers that Ryan was adopted.