Seinfeld

Elaine Benes:
[trying to prove that Jerry always breaks even] Do you have a twenty?
Jerry Seinfeld:
What for?
Elaine Benes:
Let’s see if you get the twenty bucks back. [Jerry hands Elaine a twenty and she throws it out the window]
Jerry Seinfeld:
You know, you could’ve thrown a PENCIL out the window and see if I got that back...

Jerry Seinfeld:
Kramer, I can’t do that. It’s illegal.
Cosmo Kramer:
It’s not illegal.
Jerry Seinfeld:
It’s against the law.
Cosmo Kramer:
Well, yeah...

George Costanza:
You don’t think she’d yada yada sex?
Elaine Benes:
[raising hand] I’ve yada yada’ed sex.
George Costanza:
Really?
Elaine Benes:
Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
Jerry Seinfeld:
But you yada yada’d over the best part.
Elaine Benes:
No, I mentioned the bisque.

Jerry Seinfeld:
This isn’t a good time.
telemarketer:
When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Jerry Seinfeld:
I have an idea, why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back later?
telemarketer:
Umm, we’re not allowed to do that.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at home.
telemarketer:
Umm, no.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Well, now you know how I feel. [hangs up]

George Costanza:
I’ll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Cheapness is not a sense.