It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Frank Reynolds:
[while organizing a beauty pageant for kids] We gotta definitely write a song about how we do not diddle kids! "Do not diddle kids, it’s no good diddling kids."
Mac:
There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids, than by writing a song about it!

Charlie Kelly:
But I am who I am.
Mac:
Yeah, but let’s pretend you aren’t who you are and just try to attract a woman.

Jackie:
What is it that you do again?
Charlie Kelly:
I’m like a janitor at- um, I’m a... full-on rapist, you know? Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sorta thing.
Jackie:
You mean... philanthropist?