Woody Boyd:
Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.
Norm Peterson:
I know. If she calls, I’m not here.
Norm Peterson:
Morning, everybody!
Woody Boyd:
Beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm Peterson:
Little early in the day isn’t it, Woody?
Woody Boyd:
Little early for a beer?
Norm Peterson:
No, for stupid questions.
Coach Ernie Pantusso:
How’s life treating you Norm?
Norm Peterson:
Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
Rebecca Howe:
So did you get a chance to see Carla’s babies?
Sam Malone:
We sure did. They are two of the cutest little guys you have ever seen.
Rebecca Howe:
Who do they look like Carla or Eddie.
Woody Boyd:
Well they’re twins. They kinda look like each other.
Coach Ernie Pantusso:
I’m working on a novel. Going on six years now. I think I might finish it tonight.
Diane Chambers:
You’re writing a novel?
Coach Ernie Pantusso:
No, reading it.
Cliff Clavin:
What a pathetic display. I’m ashamed God made me a man.
Carla Tortelli:
I don’t think God’s doing a lot of bragging either.
Cliff Clavin:
Hey Carla, I have a potato that looks like Richard Milhouse Nixon.
Carla Tortelli:
Big deal. Show me one that doesn’t.
Diane Chambers:
[in the bar] Excuse me, where is your bathroom?
Coach Ernie Pantusso:
Next to my bedroom.
Cliff Clavin:
[to a guy, who made a joke about post] If I weren’t wearing this uniform, I would ask you to step out.
Norm Peterson:
If you weren’t wearing a uniform, I think we would all step out!
Sam Malone:
So, how is life treating you, Norm?
Norm Peterson:
Same.
Cliff Claving:
Oh, that’s too bad.
Carla Tortelli:
Sam, where do you stand on breast-feeding?
Sam Malone:
As I recall, I liked it.
Carla Tortelli:
I mean me, with my baby, in here.
Sam Malone:
I guess it’s cheaper than a piano player...
Diane Chambers:
Well, I don’t think winning is the most important here.
Sam Malone:
Well good, so you won’t mind losing this argument.
Diane Chambers:
Over my dead body!
Sam Malone:
Don’t bring last night into this.
Diane Chambers:
That exactly what it was, your last night.
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