Woody Boyd: Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.
Norm Peterson: I know. If she calls, I’m not here.
Norm Peterson: Morning, everybody!
Woody Boyd: Beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm Peterson: Little early in the day isn’t it, Woody?
Woody Boyd: Little early for a beer?
Norm Peterson: No, for stupid questions.
Coach Ernie Pantusso: How’s life treating you Norm?
Norm Peterson: Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
Rebecca Howe: So did you get a chance to see Carla’s babies?
Sam Malone: We sure did. They are two of the cutest little guys you have ever seen.
Rebecca Howe: Who do they look like Carla or Eddie.
Woody Boyd: Well they’re twins. They kinda look like each other.
Coach Ernie Pantusso: I’m working on a novel. Going on six years now. I think I might finish it tonight.
Diane Chambers: You’re writing a novel?
Coach Ernie Pantusso: No, reading it.
Cliff Clavin: What a pathetic display. I’m ashamed God made me a man.
Carla Tortelli: I don’t think God’s doing a lot of bragging either.
Cliff Clavin: Hey Carla, I have a potato that looks like Richard Milhouse Nixon.
Carla Tortelli: Big deal. Show me one that doesn’t.
Diane Chambers: [in the bar] Excuse me, where is your bathroom?
Coach Ernie Pantusso: Next to my bedroom.
Cliff Clavin: [to a guy, who made a joke about post] If I weren’t wearing this uniform, I would ask you to step out.
Norm Peterson: If you weren’t wearing a uniform, I think we would all step out!
Sam Malone: So, how is life treating you, Norm?
Norm Peterson: Same.
Cliff Claving: Oh, that’s too bad.
Carla Tortelli: Sam, where do you stand on breast-feeding?
Sam Malone: As I recall, I liked it.
Carla Tortelli: I mean me, with my baby, in here.
Sam Malone: I guess it’s cheaper than a piano player...
Diane Chambers: Well, I don’t think winning is the most important here.
Sam Malone: Well good, so you won’t mind losing this argument.
Diane Chambers: Over my dead body!
Sam Malone: Don’t bring last night into this.
Diane Chambers: That exactly what it was, your last night.
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