Barney Miller

Detective Ron Harris:
So What do you do for fun? Watch TV?
Amish farmer:
It’s not in the bible.
Detective Ron Harris:
Movies?
Amish farmer:
Not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris:
Play cards? Gamble?
Amish farmer:
It’s not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris:
What do you do for fun?
Amish farmer:
Got 14 kids. That’s in the Bible.

Barney Miller:
[searching the files for a bombing suspect] Who else you got?
Nick Yemana:
Sheldon "Boom-Boom" Hockster.
Barney Miller:
"Boom-Boom"?
Nick Yemana:
You’d be amazed how many of these guys are named "Boom-Boom".

Detective Ron Harris:
[about kidney stones] Hey Fish, does it hurt when those stones come out?
Detective Phil Fish:
It can’t be too bad. The doctor says it’s like giving birth.