Homer Simpson:
Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
Krusty the Clown:
Homer gave me a kidney, it wasn’t his, I didn’t need it, and it came postage due, but I appreciated the gesture!
Homer Simpson:
I want to share something with you. The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1, cover for me. Number 2, Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3, It was like that when I got here.
Bart Simpson:
Can I have a beer?
Homer Simpson:
All right, but not the imported.
Marge Simpson:
Homer!
Homer Simpson:
You’ve got to set limits, Marge.
Homer Simpson:
Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! [drinks beer] But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Lisa Simpson:
Dad, what’s a muppet?
Homer Simpson:
Well, it’s not quite a mop, it’s not quite a puppet, but man... ha ha ha... So, to answer your question I don’t know.
Homer Simpson:
Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
Marge Simpson:
You always go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?
Homer Simpson:
[in post office, trying to intercept the letter he sent to Mr. Burns] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
post clerk:
Ok, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?
Homer Simpson:
I... don’t know.
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