The Simpsons

The Simpsons return to New York City after Bart discovers that, out of all of the female interests he has had (such as Gina the juvenile delinquent, Jenny the nursing home volunteer, Darcy the pregnant teen, and Nikki, the fourth grade girl who flip-flopped between loving and hating him), the only one who liked him was Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel’s daughter, Mary (from "Apocalypse Cow"), and now that Mary’s made it to the Big Apple to be a writer for Saturday Night Live, Bart wants to see her again.

This year’s Halloween special: -An intro showing a botched Mayan sacrifice in the past causing the end of the world in 2012. -The Greatest Story Ever Holed: Professor Frink’s Subatomic Supercollider releases a black hole that Lisa takes in as a pet – and the hole ends up sucking up all matter thanks to everyone using it as a waste disposal unit. -Unnormal Activity: In this parody of the Paranormal Activity movies, a collection of video clips shows demonic activity in the Simpsons’ house late at night – which may have something to do with Marge’s deal with the Devil she made years ago. -Bart & Homer’s Excellent Adventure: In this light Back to the Future parody, Bart steals Professor Frink’s time-traveling car and heads to 1974 so he can buy a Radioactive Man comic at cover price (25 cents instead of the present-day price of $200), but his visit into the past alters the future and leads Marge to marry her first prom date, Artie Ziff.

Marge gets the car of her dreams until her dreams start including the possibility of a fourth child, since the car only seats five. Meanwhile, Bart and his friends spy on Lisa.

Homer puts Lisa’s college fund into online poker as a way to fight back against big banks, and Lisa must become a player to get her college fund back. Meanwhile, Grampa Simpson mysteriously disappears from the Springfield Retirement Castle, and leaves behind clues to parts of his life that the family never knew before, like the time he was married to a black singer named Rita LaFleur, and when he worked in a restaurant with Marvin Hamlisch.

Homer is shocked to discover that his bowling teammate Dan Gillick is an accountant for Fat Tony and his mob. Meanwhile, Lisa adds insects to her vegetarian diet after passing out during a saxophone solo from iron deficiency, but immediately quits when the bugs guilt her in her dreams.

Lisa wins a Mapple MyPad for Homer at a school raffle and Homer becomes obsessed with it until he falls and breaks it. Feeling depressed over his life and the loss of his MyPad, Flanders picks up Homer’s spirits when he finds the word "Hope" written on The Simpsons’ backyard tree in sap and everyone sees it as a miracle.

Homer wants a younger, hipper image, so he starts hanging out with Terrence and Emily, two hipsters from Portland, but Marge and Bart find the couple, their child, and their ilk who take over the unhip town of Springfield to be irritating and pretentious.

When a fire at the retirement home forces Grampa to move home with the Simpsons, Homer throws out his back on moving day and decides to stay home to recover. While enjoying his time alone, Homer gets distracted by a tablet game called "VillageVille" and loses the family dog, Santa’s Little Helper. Once they find him, Homer says he never cares for dogs, except for his childhood dog named Bongo and tells the family how Mr. Burns tried to take him for attacking him.

After a lockdown at a kids’ fun center (caused by a kid chasing after a ball and a negligent worker talking on her cell phone), Homer is traumatized over seeing everyone panic in the chaos, and meets a doomsday prepper who introduces him to some Springfield residents who are preparing for the day when society crumbles from a disaster.

Springfield Elementary School is in danger of shutting down due to low test scores on the latest standardized test, and Bart may be the school’s only hope. Meanwhile, Homer uses a discarded parking meter to rake in some extra money.

After surviving a tornado, Marge and Homer seek out guardians for the kids, in case the worst should happen. They first turn to friends and family, including Homer’s half-brother, Herb Powell (who inexplicably has gone broke again), with whom to entrust their kids, but when Bart and Lisa fall in love with a super-cool couple, Mav and Portia, Marge starts to question their potential guardians’ true motivations.

A "special Valentine’s-themed outing" in which Bart’s heartstrings are pulled once again when Mary Spuckler returns to Springfield, but his failure to pay her enough attention strains their relationship.

Bart gives Milhouse a haircut to get the epoxy out of his hair, and ends up making Milhouse look like his loser father, Kirk. Meanwhile, Marge tries to wean Maggie off a series of DVDs for toddlers that were pulled for stunting children’s developmental growth, and Homer gets addicted to "find the hidden object" puzzle books.

Homer buys a storage locker after watching a reality show, only to discover that it is Grampa’s, from the days when he was Glamorous Godfrey, the most hated wrestler in the business.

Homer takes a page from 50 Shades of Grey and decides that a sadomasochistic relationship with Marge is the way to go. Meanwhile, Milhouse uses Marlon Brando’s ghost to get advice on how to impress Lisa.

A new substitute teacher named Miss Cantwell is hired while Miss Hoover is out with severe depression, and Lisa must figure out why Miss Cantwell hates her. Meanwhile, Flanders tries to atone for punching Homer in the eye after Flanders’ parents take a liking to him instead of their own son.

Reverend Lovejoy leaves his pulpit after a charismatic new minister usurps him and finds a new job as a hot tub salesman, while Homer’s newfound devotion and work as a deacon starts to annoy Bart.

Bart’s interest in piano lessons surges when he sees the instructor is a beautiful young woman, while Homer tries to keep Marge from finding out he has lost the final two original hairs on his head, and Marge helps a Russian man pass his driver’s test.

Lisa must defend Bart after he is accused of pulling an Easter prank on the school marching band. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns fulfills his dream of becoming a superhero, and Smithers pays the townspeople to be supervillains.

Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl team up to buy a winning lottery ticket, but when Carl absconds with the winnings and heads to his homeland of Iceland, Homer, Lenny, and Moe set out to get him and the money back.

Homer and Marge help a suicidal Moe get a new lease on life and Moe’s homemade alcohol pings the radar of venture capitalists. Elsewhere, Grandpa gets hurt at home and finds Bart takes better care of him than the nursing home staff does, and Lisa complains about the "exploitation" of her dead jazz mentor Bleeding Gums Murphy after he ’performs’ at a concert as a projected image.

Marge stumbles upon a website for married women to arrange affairs (after mistaking it for a cupcake delivery website) and meets a man named Ben, who falls for Marge after the two bond over a Downton Abbey-esque period drama. Meanwhile, Homer takes home a steam train that used to belong to Springfield’s high-end, outside mall and recruits Reverend Lovejoy, Moe, Lenny, Carl, and Larry the Lush to fix it for his wedding anniversary.