Family Guy

Stewie shows Brian a remote control that allows him to access parallel universes depicting Quahog in the same time and place, but under different conditions. Travelling to a universe where humans are subservient to dogs, Stewie is unable to figure out how to modify the device so that they can return home. Brian is reluctant to leave and forcefully swipes the remote, accidentally breaking it. The two head to the universe’s Griffin family, who are all dogs, except for their pet Brian, who is human. The dog version of Stewie explains that he has developed his own remote control. While he goes to fetch it, human Stewie bites the dog version of Peter and is sent to the human pound, where he will be euthanized. Human Brian, regular Brian, and dog Stewie go to the pound, free Stewie, and both regular Stewie and regular Brian are sent back to their universe.

Peter discovers a lump on Lois’s breast, and the two go to the hospital to have it tested. The test shows the lump to be benign, but Dr. Hartman discovers, by looking in her medical records, that Lois’s mother was a Holocaust survivor, meaning Lois and her children are Jewish. Despite being Catholic, Peter becomes a devout Jew, much to Lois’s chagrin. That night, Peter is visited by the ghost of his father, who warns him that he will go to Hell if he is not Catholic. The next day, Peter decides to convert the family back, and becomes prejudiced against Lois for her Jewish heritage. When Lois’s mother advises not to let Peter suppress her identity, Lois decides to hold Passover, which Peter tries to ruin. Jesus then appears and settles the couple’s disputes. In a minor subplot, Quagmire learns about internet porn and gains large muscles after masturbating to it.

Actors Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd begin living in the neighborhood, causing Stewie and Brian to investigate. Discovering a secret underground military facility, they learn that the actors are government spies. They try to warn Mayor West about an deactivated Russian sleeper agent in Quahog, only to discover that West is actually the sleeper agent. During the ensuing fight Aykroyd plants a homing beacon on West’s leg. West escapes to Russia and the four quickly follow him. They are soon captured under orders of Vladimir Putin, who explains that word of the sleeper agents would be an embarrassment to their government, and offers to help them stop West from fulfilling his mission. By the time the four find West, they watch him launch a missile aimed for the United States, but Aykroyd is able to hack into the missile’s guidance system, allowing him to aim the warhead high above the atmosphere where it harmlessly explodes. Meanwhile after Peter tells Quagmire and Joe about how Chase and Aykroyd criticized Peter’s comedy skill, Quagmire convinces Peter and Joe to form an Improv comedy troupe with him. Unfortunately Peter loses interest and ruins the group with his shenanigans.

While driving with Brian, Peter accidentally crashes into a woman’s car, leading Brian to take interest in her and ask her out on a date. He arrives at her house to pick her up, but soon finds himself attracted to her mother, Rita, and sneaks her home that night. Knowing he would become a laughing stock if the family found out he was going out with an older woman, he hides her until the next morning. Later, Brian bumps into the family and is ridiculed, and Lois invites Rita to dinner with the intention of getting her to reveal her age. At dinner, Rita is succumbed into admitting she is fifty. Infuriated with his family, Brian goes to console Rita, and proposes marriage. Later that night, Rita accidentally breaks her hip, and Peter warns Brian that the relationship will not last much longer now that Brian must run errands. Brian then succumbs to the temptation of having sex with another, younger woman, and Rita decides Brian is too young for her.

Stewie learns that Miley Cyrus will be hosting a concert in Quahog, but tickets to the show sold out in mere seconds. He sneaks in backstage, and Miley Cyrus soon becomes Stewie’s best friend. Once he notices something strange about her, however, he discovers that she is an android. Stewie attempts to reprogram Miley for use as Brian’s sex toy. This backfires when Stewie causes a short-circuit and she rampages through the city. Meanwhile, Chris does poorly on a test at school and blames the Evil Monkey living in his closet. Peter and Lois are fed up with him talking about the monkey, and claim it does not exist. Chris then captures the monkey and shows it to the family. The monkey then goes on to explain his backstory, claiming the entire event is a huge misunderstanding. As it turns out, the monkey discovered his wife had committed Adultery one night resulting in divorce. As result, the "Evil Monkey" found himself spiraling into depression which costed him his job and home. These events forced him to move into Chris’s closet where he lived for nine years. Chris is at first unconvinced, but when the monkey helps him write a book report, they become friends. Later, the group sees Miley destroying the city after Stewie unsuccessfully re-wires her, and the monkey confronts her. He is taken to the top of a skyscraper, so Peter recruits Quagmire to shoot her down in a biplane and save the monkey. After Quagmire and Peter destroy the android Miley and save the monkey, the latter decides it’s time to move out and does so to Chris’s despair.

When Peter goes to Quagmire’s house, he notices a baby in a basket by the door. The baby is Quagmire’s illegitimate daughter. Quagmire then takes her in and names her Anna Lee. When the baby ends up deeply cutting into his sex life, Joe convinces Quagmire to put her up for adoption, and he reluctantly does so. Later, while at a strip bar, Quagmire cannot stop thinking about Anna Lee, and they go to her adoptive family’s home to get her back. They see how well the new family treats her and Quagmire decides that she belongs there. Meanwhile, Stewie makes an unintelligent clone of himself, and introduces the clone to Brian, who becomes interested in having a clone of his own. Stewie then makes one for Brian, and the clones perform all of their chores.

Upset that Cleveland left Quahog, Peter, Joe and Quagmire decide to interview people to fill the vacancy, and are approached by Jerome. After he impresses the group, they decide to let him join. When Peter introduces Jerome to Lois, she reveals that the two used to date. Jealous, Peter inadvertently causes a fire, later that night, which burns down Jerome’s house. The next morning, Peter discovers that Lois has invited Jerome to live with them. As time goes on, Peter cannot contain his jealousy and eventually kicks him out. During an argument, Lois convinces Peter to apologize to Jerome, who accepts his apology. Meanwhile, Brian offers to be the fourth member of the group, until Peter tells him that Quagmire dislikes him. Brian is shocked to learn this and tries to make friends with Quagmire. He tricks Quagmire into going to dinner with him, where Quagmire unleashes a tirade in which he outlines everything offensive Brian has ever done.

Brian receives an invitation to an award ceremony celebrating his novel, but soon discovers that all the club members are mentally retarded. He decides to drown his sorrows at the local bar, and runs over a dog on the way home. He secretly buries the dog’s body, but eventually confesses. He quickly learns, however, that no one cares if a dog is killed. Outraged, Brian starts a group to convince people that the life of an animal is just as important as a human’s, with little success. Later, in an attempt to cheer up Brian, Stewie takes his dog collar and places it on a stray, which he kills in a fire. The family is devastated because they believe Brian is dead, and begin to cry. When he sees this, Brian realizes his life does have a purpose, and thanks Stewie for helping him. Meanwhile, Lois hires an Hispanic maid named Consuela, who quickly proves to be very stubborn.

Peter is shocked to find out that Lois’s father, Carter, has never had a bachelor party, so he takes him to a strip club, and gives him the time of his life. In his excitement, Carter ends up having a heart attack and falls into a coma. Carter’s will leaves Lois in control of his billion dollar company, but Peter soon takes over. Peter then fires the entire board of directors, and creates several ridiculous items. Carter awakens from his coma and confronts Peter, demanding that he relinquish control of the company. Lois and Carter try to negotiate with Peter, who agrees to give Carter employment as a janitor. Carter and Lois decide to trick Peter into surrendering the company by scaring him into believing a swamp monster will eat him, causing Peter to agree.

Peter gets in a fight and hits his head, causing him to suffer from amnesia. This causes him to forget everything about his life, including his family. Lois decides to reintroduce Peter to his old self, including his sex life, in an attempt to jog his memory. Later, Peter mistakenly believes himself free to have sexual relations with other women. Deeply angered, Lois and the rest of the family decide to move out and leave Peter. Quagmire takes the opportunity to finally pursue a relationship with Lois. When Peter returns home later that night, Brian warns him about this development, and Peter reveals that he finally regained his memory. He then rushes to reclaim Lois, while Quagmire’s plans had been stymied by guilt-induced impotence.

Peter gets more than he bargained for when he joins the rodeo, albeit by cheating, which gets the best of him when he is raped by a bull at a rodeo. During the occurrence, Brian meets the editor for a magazine, starts following Meg as research for an article on teenage life, and discovers she has fallen in love with Luke, a prison inmate. Brian reveals Meg’s secret to Peter and Lois, who forbid her from seeing the inmate. Luke then breaks out of jail and tries to hide in the Griffin family home. Peter alerts Joe, who apprehends the criminal. Joe also arrests Meg for harboring a fugitive, and she is sent to prison. Three months later, Meg returns home a hardened criminal and abuses her family and friends. Wanting to start a new life away from home, Meg ambushes Brian in his car and forces him to drive to the pharmacy to rob the store. In an attempt to stop her, Brian shows Meg the article he wrote, in which he describes her as "far sweeter and kinder" than the typical American girl. Touched by this, Meg returns home and thanks Brian.

When the Griffin family go for a hike, Chris and Stewie get lost, and Lois decides to seek the advice of a psychic. Lois becomes obsessed with the psychic, to the annoyance of a skeptical Brian. In defiance of Lois, Brian has Peter perform a cold reading on a passerby, to demonstrate that psychic readings are purely an act. Peter is struck by his success, however, and decides to capitalize on his newfound ability. Soon after, Joe requests Peter’s help in a search for a missing person who has been strapped to a bomb. Peter stalls for time during the search, "summoning" the ghost of Lou Costello and does the "Who’s on First?" routine with the victims last name. Which eventually results in a gruesome death when the bomb explodes. Meanwhile, Stewie helps prepare Chris for a date with a mentally challenged girl at his school. During the date, the girl is pushy and demanding, and the relationship quickly falls apart.

Brian notices Stewie watching Jolly Farm Revue, and tells him about upcoming auditions for the show. They go to the auditions but learn that only girls are being interviewed. Stewie then cross-dresses to get an audition, naming his new identity "Karina" and wins the role. Later, Stewie falls in love with Julie, who professes her love for Karina, wishing that she was a boy, and Stewie reveals his true self. Shocked, Julie refuses to speak to him, and Stewie regrets coming out. Meanwhile, Peter insults Lois about her age, and she longs for a younger man. Meg brings home Anthony, a new boyfriend, and makes out with him. Lois is jealous and makes advances toward Anthony, and eventually makes out with him. Peter then admits that he was actually embarrassed about his own age, and was only insulting Lois in order to stop her from seeing she could be with a much better man.

Peter becomes a paparazzo, and begins recording local celebrities, including Ollie Williams, who breaks Peter’s glasses. Unable to get his glasses fixed for work, he decides to wear contacts. Once he arrives, his boss, Angela, begins making disturbng sexual advances. Eventually, Angela invites Peter over to her house under the guise of working on a "project" leading Peter to quickly deduce she intends to have sex with him. Using Quagmire as a double Peter agrees to have sex with her, but Quagmire backs out when he loses interest resulting in Peter being fired. Later that night, Peter drives back to Angela’s house and discovers she is attempting to commit suicide. He rescues her, and Angela confesses that she has no hope in life. Peter decides to have dinner with her, where she tries to seduce him, threatening to kill herself if he refuses sex. Peter then agrees, this time using Mort as a double which rekindles Angela’s will to live. Angela then rehires Peter, after thanking him for making her life whole again.

Stewie finds an old script that Brian wrote, and suggests Lois read it. Reluctant to at first, Lois ends up loving it, and suggests he meet with executives about producing a drama show. Brian pitches the script to CBS, who respond positively. The producers bring in James Woods, however, who wins the role. The CBS executives then turn Brian’s drama into a comedy. Frustrated, Brian tries to make the producers return to the original plot, but ends up quitting when they refuse. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris bump into Stewie, and he falls down the stairs, unconscious. Attempting to hide the accident, Meg and Chris are approached by Peter, who suggests they frame Lois for causing the injury. Noticing her pulling out of the driveway, Peter throws Stewie behind her tire, and Lois runs him over. Lois then suggests they frame someone else, and Peter tells her they should take Stewie to the hospital.

The people of Quahog are misled into believing that a black hole will suck up the entire planet in just 24 hours, and all life on Earth will be destroyed. Everybody in Quahog then frantically tries to live out their last day on Earth. Right before the timer runs out, Peter confesses that he hates being around his kids. This puts him in an awkward position when the black hole turns out to have just been an April Fools’ Day prank played by the local news team. Peter must then show his kids that he loves them, to make it up to them. He tries different things, including trying to find out more about their interests and apologizing to them. When these methods fail, however, he buys them an Xbox 360 and wins their love.

Brian and Stewie get locked in a bank vault and become trapped. Brian wakes up in the middle of the night and opens a bottle of scotch. When he accidentally wakes up Stewie, they share the scotch. While drunk, Stewie tells Brian that his life has no purpose, and Brian becomes infuriated. A fight ensues, and Stewie draws a gun from Brian’s safety deposit box in the vault. The next morning, Stewie asks Brian why he has the gun, and he reveals that he keeps it in case he ever wants to commit suicide. Shocked, Stewie asks why he is so unhappy, and Brian notes it is because his life has no purpose. Feeling sorry for him, Stewie says that he loves Brian, and he would not be able to live without him. They drift off to sleep, and the bank vault suddenly opens.

Joe and Peter visit Quagmire, and are introduced to his father, Dan. They are surprised by Dan’s gay mannerisms, however, and after Quagmire invites Peter and Lois to the Naval Ball to be held in his father’s honor, they begin arguing over the issue. Quagmire confronts Dan, and his father states that he has scheduled a sex change. The surgery is a success, and Dan emerges as "Ida." That night, Ida and Quagmire join the Griffins for dinner. Quagmire becomes frustrated when the conversation turns towards Ida’s surgery, and suddenly storms out of the room. At Quagmire’s home, he tells Ida that he cannot deal with the change. Saddened, Ida leaves her son’s home and decides to stay at a nearby hotel. There, she meets Brian, and after several drinks, Brian sleeps with Ida which drives Quagmire into rage.

Chris tells his parents that he has been suspended from school for telling a dirty joke. Revealing he heard it from Quagmire, Peter questions where Quagmire heard the joke and eventually finds that the joke originated with a Virginia bartender. Setting out from Quahog, the group enters the bar in question and find that it was Cleveland who told the bartender the joke. When Cleveland is asked where he heard it, he reveals that it was from a bellhop in Washington, D.C.. The group, along with Cleveland, then set out on the road and are attacked, captured, and thrown on a plane. The plane lands on an island where they are led to a large stone temple, and enter a large library with all of the world’s greatest geniuses studying inside. They are not permitted to leave the island, however, and are locked in a jail cell. The group then breaks out, and set the temple on fire.

While being chased by Darth Vader (Stewie) on the planet Hoth, young Luke Skywalker (Chris) has a vision of his dead mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert), who tells him to go to the planet Dagobah and learn the ways of the Force from Jedi Master Yoda (Carl). Luke has a vision of the Empire capturing his friends and forgoes his Jedi training in order to save them by confronting Vader. Luke arrives at Cloud City and engages Vader in a lightsaber duel. Vader cuts off Luke’s right hand, and with Luke cornered and defenseless, Vader goads him to join the dark side, and then reveals that he is his father.

Lois runs into her old friend Naomi, who reveals that she and her husband are having difficulty conceiving a child. She then asks Lois if she will be a surrogate mother. Lois decides to do so, and Peter becomes upset when he finds out. Despite this, Lois has the procedure performed, and Peter attempts to cause Lois to have a miscarriage. Suddenly, the local news reveals there has been a car crash, with Naomi and her husband pronounced dead. Devastated, Lois must choose whether or not to abort the baby, or put it up for adoption. In an attempt to make a decision, Lois and Peter visit the Family Planning Center, and decide to have an abortion performed. As Peter exits the center he comes across an anti-abortion rally and changes his mind. When they return home, they discuss if they should have the abortion or not. After the discussion, Lois goes ahead with abortion.