Mike & Molly

Molly returns from her writer’s workshop, much to Mike’s delight. Even better, a publisher liked Molly’s short story enough to give her a sizeable advance on her first book. Mike is relieved because the advance check will almost get him and Molly out of debt, but Molly ruins that when she buys a new car instead.

Molly has writer’s block, and she might lose her big advance if she doesn’t cure it fast. Carl suggests to Mike that getting sex regularly since returning from her workshop has stifled Molly’s creativity. Mike then reluctantly tries to shun Molly’s sexual advances.

Mike (as Santa Claus) and Carl (as an elf) hand out toys to needy children, then get locked in the back of a truck while loading it. At home, Molly has the whole family on edge as she insists on every holiday preparation being done to her exact specifications. When it is revealed that Molly does this to honor her late father, Vince worries that Molly will never accept him as a member of the family.

Mike, Carl, Samuel, Vince and Harry are preparing for their annual "guys weekend" fishing trip, when Carl irritates the group by announcing he has invited Victoria. This causes Mike to feel like he has to invite Molly, and Vince follows suit by inviting Joyce. As they get ready to leave, Victoria tells Molly she has cheated on Carl with an old boyfriend, leading to an awkward drive to the fishing site.

The family is exasperated after Molly proclaims her book is finished, only to decide she wants to tweak the characters again or make it raunchier (as suggested by Peggy’s surprisingly filthy church friends). Mike says she should be confident in her work, then quickly emails the file to Molly’s publisher. After Molly becomes furious, Mike hires Harry to hack into the publisher’s computer.

A rookie female cop named Stacey (Sarah Baker) playfully flirts with Mike at work, but things escalate when she surprises him with a kiss after hours. A guilt-ridden Mike decides to tell Molly, who then goes on the attack.

Samuel contemplates moving back to Africa when he receives a letter from his parents saying they’re struggling financially. Instead, he assumes ownership of Abe’s Diner when the owner says he’s looking to unload it on anyone willing to take on the debt. With financial help from Vince, Samuel reopens the restaurant as Abe’s Hot Beef.

When Molly finds out that Mike hasn’t had any doctor check-ups in years, she nags him into going. The first time around, Mike skips the visit and pretends he went, but Molly sees through it.

Molly meets Xander (Steve Valentine), her publisher, for the first time. While he is praiseworthy, he feels the book could become a phenomenon if Molly works time travel into it. Expecting a big windfall upon hearing the news, Mike splurges on some new clothing. After several failed attempts at doing the publisher’s bidding, however, Molly ultimately tricks him into accepting her original draft.

While Mike and Carl are working a drunk driving checkpoint, Joyce pulls up. Mike intends to let her through after she answers a few questions, but she is belligerent and insulting so he hauls her into the station. Furious, Joyce lashes out at all the members of her household, insisting they all give up their various vices.

Mike and Molly finally have the house to themselves for the weekend, but find that the weekend gets interrupted.

Peggy announces that she is retiring, and Molly organizes a party for her. She goes to the school to invite some fellow lunch ladies, and learns that Peggy didn’t retire, she was fired. Mike insists they must have the party anyway and go along with Peggy’s lie, something he’s learned to do over the years.